


Whisper

by PokeChan



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst, Gen, KuroFai, but what if, death of a baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 06:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/745601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PokeChan/pseuds/PokeChan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every world has its own version of the same souls. Whatever happened to Nihon's Fai?</p>
<p>(Companion piece to <i>Mute</i>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whisper

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stellana](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Stellana).



> I couldn't just explain away Valeria!Kurogane without giving you guys the flipside, could I?

Mother and Father had told him that they would be having guests soon. They’d said that they were from a faraway land to the west and that he should be on his best behavior. He had promised Mother – no, he’d pinky sworn. So he had to be a good boy.

It wasn’t a hard thing to do; the visitors were very nice, even though they were sort of strange. They had hair that looked like golden silk and eyes the color of the sky. They didn’t speak Japanese very well, but they spoke well enough for Father and the gold-haired man to laugh as grown up jokes he didn’t understand. Mother and the lady were very friendly with each other and mother told him that the lady would be having a baby soon. Oh, he hoped that she had them while they were visiting. He wanted to meet the new baby more than anything.

He made a wish one night to the gods. _‘Please, oh please, let the baby be born here! I want to meet it!’_

He got his wish, but at a price.

It was midday when the lady stayed screaming and everyone flew into a wild frenzy that he couldn’t keep up with. Servants and maids ran every which way. At first there was confusion, and then everyone was excited. Now, though, everyone was worried and looked frightened. They kept running about, shouting things and trying to help. He tried to help too, but he just got shooed away.

“Not right now, young lord.”

“Please go wait in your room, young lord.”

“Young lord, please go outside!”

Father eventually picked him up and sat him in the court yard. They waited there until the sun set and Mother came to fetch them. He couldn’t help but cry out a little when he first caught sight of Mother. She had blood on her face and clothes and she looked like she had just been crying. Her face was sad and she bent down and hugged him close, telling him how much she loved him.

He didn’t understand what was happening until the next day.

That morning they went to a funeral for the baby.

“But,” he said. “The baby is right there!” He pointed to the little bundle the lady held as she cried and cried and cried. 

Mother petted his hair and looked down at him with sad eyes. “There were two babies,” she explained. “But one didn’t make it. He died.”

He hadn’t known babies could die…

After the funeral everyone went back inside except for the man and the lady and the baby who was still alive. They stayed there for a long time. He watched them.

He didn’t know why he was so sad about the baby dying. It wasn’t like he’d met the baby or been friends with it. He’d just really wanted to meet it. Now he couldn’t, because he’d made them be born too soon by asking the gods. It was all his fault. He had killed the baby.

When the lady and the man came back inside he stood before them and bowed as low as he could. “I’m sorry!” he cried. “I just wanted to meet the baby. I’m sorry I asked the gods to make them born here!”

The lady knelt down and gently shushed him. “It’s not your fault. Giving birth to twins is hard. And look, one lived.” She lowered the small bundle in her arms. Inside of it was a tiny, pink thing with yellow fuzz on top of its head. “Fai is still alive,” she told him.

He sniffled and looked down at the baby. It was true, one was still alive, but for some reason he only cared about the one that had died. He felt hollow and lost, as if he’d been misplaced and no one knew he was missing. He patted the new baby gently on the head and went outside.

He sat in front of the shrine where they’d placed the baby’s ashes. He felt a little better, being out here. Still a tiny bit empty, like there was a hole in him somewhere. He slept out there that night. And the next one. When he tried to sleep inside he had nightmares and tossed and turned all night. For days he slept next to the shrine. Mother kept giving him odd looks and Father would try every night to get him to sleep in a bed.

One day they told him the visitors were leaving in the morning. He ran outside and spent the rest of the day at the shrine. He didn’t know why he was so upset that they were going to take the baby’s ashes away, but when he thought about it he got worried and sick. That night was the first time he spoke to the baby. 

“I’m sorry you died,” he said. “I think it might be my fault.”

“Your brother cries a lot. I don’t think you would have been very quiet either.”

He closed his eyes and imagined a little boy about his age with gold in his hair and eyes like the summer sky. He imagined the boy would laugh and run and smile all the time. Jokes would be the boy’s favorite thing and he’s think fish was icky like him mom did and he wouldn’t be able to use chopsticks like his father. 

“I bet you would tease me and call me dumb names like a little kid,” he shared.

That was when something occurred to him. “You’re mama never told me your name, but I’ll tell you mine. So long as you promise to keep it a secret.” He bent close to the little urn of ashes and whispered and softly as he could “You-ou.”

When the couple took the ashes he cried that night and the next morning he ran off into the forest and built his own shrine. He still didn’t know the baby’s name but he’d made one up. “I bet you could do magic,” he said. “So I’ll name you Mage. That’s what they call magic folk where you’re from, right?”


End file.
